Be Very Careful Using Labels--Especially About Yourself

Labels are often greatly misunderstood and misinterpreted. Ask five friends or strangers to describe a career title like administrator or engineer and you will most likely get five very different answers.

The quicker someone attaches verbal or mental labels to people, the more shallow and lifeless their reality becomes. These instant experts believe they know all about a person even though they have never met. They pre-judge without waiting for any facts.

A variety of labels are given to each one of us in our lifetime: husband, wife, mother, father, parent, grandparent, employee, employer, citizen and on and on. However, for now concentrate on the labels surrounding work.

Asking about a persons work is an easy way to start a conversation when meeting someone for the first time. A problem occurs if, as a child, you were told repeatedly to stop sounding like a braggart or know-it-all. So the answer is a vague word or two with the unspoken hope that the person listening is interested enough to pursue the subject further.

In contrast to the excessive modesty are the individuals at the other end of the spectrum. Remember the person who rattled off a bunch of techno-babble jargon or shop-talk supposedly designed to impress you with his importance within his super-duper company.

After a few minutes your eyes started to glaze over, you wished for a pair of ear plugs and discovered someone across the room you had to see immediately!

How do you answer when someone asks what work you do? Dull, nondescript words create nothing in anyone's mind--no image, no feelings; just blah. Generalities make no impact because they speak to no one in particular; they leave no impression. They get no one's attention.

You can joke or make flip remarks about your job or employer when talking to close friends or relatives. But be warned that careless comments made within or outside that circle may come back to haunt you.

Once words are said you have lost control of where or when they might be repeated. The stranger (to you) just might be a close friend or relative of an important executive in your company or a potential future employer when you want to change jobs.

You know you will get questions about work so take some private time to draft an appropriate answer. Forget the label (title) that the personnel office gave you. Remember you are writing a response to use in a social situation. You are not on an interview trying to impress a future boss.

When that job label question comes up, you will be ready with a three or four sentence answer that leaves an impression that you are a contributing employee. Pick out something about your work that would be interesting—the challenges, contact with customers, travel, making a difference or the location.

It might help to practice speaking it while you gain confidence. That way you will eliminate all those pauses while you scramble for words.

The secret for making this a memorable conversation is to immediately get back to learning more about the stranger. Your sincere interest in them is going to make a favorable impression. Your job label is really not important. It was just a way of getting to know you.

A reminder: No two things can occupy the same space at the same time. There is no room to have another agenda going on in your head—like wondering what you are going to say next.

When you are really listening to someone, you become connected with that person. What you want is for them to notice and remember you as a person worth knowing. Someone who actually listened to what they were saying.

How To Be Happy Now!

We have heard (and possibly even made) comments like:

• I will be happy when I can spend summer at the beach.
• I will be happy when I get promoted.
• I will be happy when I live in my dream house.
• I will be happy when I reach my ideal weight.
• I will be happy when I get my bright red Cadillac.
• I will be happy when I win the lottery.
• I will be happy when I _________ ______ (fill in the blanks).

The problem with this kind of thinking is that happiness waits until you have some possession or a certain event happens. In the meantime you have pushed the pause button on your life and are simply going through the motions like some robot. Supposedly real living will only start when you get all the “things” on your list of wants.

No one deliberately chooses to put their life on hold or to live somewhere in the middle—neither good or bad, just okay. All these circumstances are the result of the thousands of little decisions, which are reached as a result of the thoughts you give attention to.

Be conscious of all the negativity, fear, anxiety, and lack in the messages you receive daily. It pummels you from every direction. It comes from television, radio, the internet, your friends and family. The quickest way to get you to buy something new is to make you dissatisfied with what you have.

Being conscious of negativity is one thing but wallowing in it is quite another. Our minds are like a garden. We can intelligently cultivate our garden, or we can allow it to run wild. Something will grow. Either we choose what that will be or we can let things happen by default.

We all avoid the individuals, whether family, friends, neighbors or co-workers, who are constantly whining, complaining or bitching—on any subject. It is no fun to be around them. Yet, without really trying, we can fall into that habit ourselves if we stop monitoring our thoughts.

Be happy and appreciative of all the wonderful things you have in your life right now! It all depends on your perspective on what has happened.

A teacher once suggested that we end each day by making a list of 10 things for which we were grateful. After a week of trial, everyone was groaning that it was impossible to list that many things day after day after day!

Put your mind towards looking at things in a different way. Here are some ideas from an unknown author that will help you get started. For instance:

Be thankful that you do not already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you do not know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful when you are tired and weary, because it means you have made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

I choose to be grateful for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat.

I choose to be grateful for the parking spot I find at the far end of the lot because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.

I choose to be grateful for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech.

I choose to be grateful for my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

I choose to be grateful for the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

I choose to be grateful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.

I choose to be grateful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means I am alive.

When we start appreciating the simple pleasures of an ordinary day, it takes the pressure off. The cumulative effect of a series of ordinary days is actually extraordinary. You create a kind of exceptionality that everyone can share. Most importantly, you will wake up each day happily planning how to have another successful day.

Have You Joined The Crowd Who Have Grey Life Syndrome?

People with Grey Life Syndrome have a life that is not good, not bad--simply bearable! They have decided to settle for okay and give up the struggle for excellence. Occasionally they may feel happiness, self-esteem, joy and love, but the feeling is very brief, then it is back to okayness.

Their belief is that it is not necessary to be happy with the job; it can be okay or irritating if it feeds us. Television will get them through the weekend. They do not believe life can get better, they strive to make it tolerable.

Are you playing small instead of dreaming big? Are you aiming to get by instead of experiencing adventure? Are you operating on autopilot where life is safe and predictable instead of using your creative thinking abilities? Have you settled on safety to avoid being threatened or challenged?

If we are not starving in the street, we can sometimes get complacent with our circumstances. If you are moderately comfortable with your current state, you might not be motivated enough to really dig in and attempt something bold, daring and challenging. Creativity is simply the process of looking at the same thing as everyone else and seeing something new.

In order to feel alive, a man must feel that he is growing, that he is continuously becoming more useful. The alternative--working day after day and year after year at routine tasks merely to keep his physical husk alive--is a form of occupational vegetating that dulls both the mind and the spirit.

Take a risk! Taking risks helps to keep you youthful, as well as preventing your life from becoming a yawn-inducing routine. Forget perfect--just do it. No one is perfect. There will always be ups and downs, but the ups should outweigh the downs…and the progress is steady, not 'perfect.' However, the results are lasting.

The Grey Life Syndrome people who will not strive after better things cut themselves off from all the glorious and wonderful possibilities of attainment. One word of caution: This does not mean lazily being a mediocre employee while you wait for the lucky opportunity to appear. The Universe will not give you your next assignment until you are overqualified for this one.

Each person has his own way to success and his own kind of success. Your path to greater progress will not be exactly the same as that used by anyone else, even if the principles for achieving success are the same.

Live life to the fullest. Do everything you can to live a great life, not just a ‘get by’ life. Help others…be a hero, be kinder, love with all your heart and live life like you mean it.

The secret to success or failure, happiness or unhappiness, is that we become what we think about most. Your nature as a human is to grow, develop and unfold into your greatest good. That is where true prosperity lives.

How To Benefit Using Company Politics

At one time or another, we have been warned to stay out of office politics—it can be the ruin of a promising career! It is an old warning with a lot of tradition to support it.

Company politics has seen its evil days, but the day when close-knit groups resented each other in general and all ambitious newcomers in particular is drawing to a close. Most people are recognizing that such intramural skirmishing for prestige and influence did the groups no good while greatly impairing the productivity of the company.

“Company” in this context is a generic term that applies to any working situation. It does not matter whether it is private industry, government agency, educational institution or some other kind of organized work situation.

When people get along together, production rises; when they do not, it falls. Politics—good or bad—is inescapable. If people are not talking about their work at the drinking fountain, during a coffee break, or at lunch, they just do not care, and that is bad.

Company politics is here to stay. To close your ears to it is not to remove yourself from politics but from the company. How else are you going to know what is going on? And if you do not know what is going on in the company, how are you to know where you are going?

If you follow three simple rules, playing good company politics will be easy, informative and rewarding.

1. Say something interesting or constructive about your work.
2. Say something good about your boss, supervisor, or company policy--with sincerity.
3. Keep on doing a good job.

If you cannot do those three things after a month or two on the job, if your work is so dull and the company so uninteresting, you are in the wrong job. Start looking for a different one now!

Private life and work are both parts of you as a whole human being. They cannot be completely separate incarnations. You are probably spending your most productive hours in each day at work—five days a week! Friendships do count in the business world.

Bad politics is based on greed, selfishness, power-seeking, and often prejudice. More often than not, the leaders are insisting that some outside influence is the cause of all their problems. They are unwilling to admit that their own actions might be at fault.

I once worked in an office where the goal seemed to be finding something nasty to say about the boss. It was almost a “can you top this” kind of daily conversational game.

The two most vocal individuals had worked for the longest time in the department. They must have been getting some kind of emotional payback from their actions in order to justify working for such an individual. Possibly: “You have the title but I am better than you in every way!”

Actually company politics is not the name for it, for the company will suffer irreparable damage in the long run. It is personal or factional, or clique politics, played for the advancement of the few, and let the company go hang, as it frequently does. Yet it cannot be ignored.

If bad office politics is to be counteracted intelligently, it must be recognized for what it is, from the lowest man subjected to its pressures to the president of the firm. If one is in no position to combat it, then one must know what it is all about for his own protection.

Personal success is not to be found where partisanship and bias have more influence than merit. Always remember that recognizing the talents and achievements of your staff and co-workers is a valuable asset. If you fail to give credit where and when it is deserved, there should be no complaints when the same thing is done to you.

Hard work and attention to detail does not automatically bring a promotion. Your skill working with others is an essential ingredient. It is almost tragic to overlook the constructive side of office politics. If you do not know what is going on around you, no one is going to know you are around.

Welcome T otal Freedom Into Your Life

Our ordinary life experiences bear little resemblance to those of our father, and much less to those of our grandfather. Yet most of our traditional roles have been passed down through so many generations that they are in a rut.

There is a serious danger in following the “established” roads to success. Many of them are as out-moded as the directions for following the Oregon Trail. Many of them lead to goals that no longer exist, or are over-crowded. There are many kinds of successes to be reached, but are they the roads for you, leading to where you want to go?

Our culture is still telling us to go to school so that we can get a job and make money. Teachers, parents, friends and government tell us that after 40 years (or so) of hard work, we will have a secure retirement. The evidence shows us that work does not necessarily equal wealth. People work long hours and have little to show for it.

The usual career training systems allow no time for learning the skills for personal and financial freedom. Why do only a few people seem to get wealthy and financially free, and why is it that the knowledge they seem to have appears to be so elusive?

Our education system is still following procedures created in the 1800s. The masses are not taught how to create wealth but how to work for others. We graduate as a doctor, lawyer, chemist, chef or any other career you care to mention.

That expensive education provides training about a job but the graduate is left without a clue on wealth-building or how to have a healthy, happy life. Too often wealth is equated with collecting “things” – expensive automobiles, a mansion with a second vacation home, jewelry, designer clothing, and whatever else is the latest fad.

One author asked the question – what would you do if your annual income suddenly becomes your monthly income? Or, what would you do if you had a million dollars? We all have visions about a dream life! However, the records on most lottery winners paint quite a different picture. Within five or ten years most are in worse condition financially than they were before the win.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Before you go off to some fantasy land, take time to consider what you want out of life. What is important to you, regardless of what tradition, your boss, or your friends might say? Your guiding influence should come from within.

Keep asking yourself “why” until you really know what gives you the feelings of joy and accomplishment. Take some time to decide what health, wealth and happiness mean to you.

Only you can know your achievements, and in getting to know them you will meet, possibly for the first time, that most interesting and increasingly successful stranger who is yourself. You will continue to grow and change as your world expands.

Your Mind--A Secret Weapon For Vibrant Health

Would you like to have bounce in your step and wellness shining from your eyes? Our body gets back into order when we give it all of the vitamins, minerals and other nutrients that it needs for optimum performance.

Most people look on disease and sickness as inevitable. Large numbers of people break nearly every known natural law of health, and are surprised that they become ill. Yet the wonder is that they are as well as they are.

We are not machines. We are far more complicated and dynamic than any machine that will ever be. And you must honor the dynamic and fluid system when it comes to how you eat and how you exercise.

Most of us take our bodies for granted. We expect them always to do what we ask of them, effortlessly and efficiently; we assume that they will always be there for us. So we go through our daily lives thinking about anything and everything except how we use these reliable vehicles, these loyal servants that unquestioningly carry out all our orders.

We were endowed at birth with bodies that are perfectly designed to serve us with ease and enjoyment through a long, active and pain-free lifetime. So what goes wrong?

It is not an inescapable toll of some vague aging process. Blessed with the phenomenal powers of regeneration, our bodies can withstand years, even decades, of systematic misuse and still continue to serve us faithfully, with only the occasional twinge or ache.

We can try to blame “something” that runs in my family, our age or an old injury. But this is simply adding insult to injury. It is the piling up of years of abuse—of driving the car with the brake on and without changing the oil, so to speak.

Always recognize the true miracle of our bodies. Without any prompting from us, food is digested and changed into fuel, air is breathed, nutrients are circulated to every cell and hands and feet follow our desires for any action we want to take.

But the body goes beyond that. If we fail to supply the kidneys with enough water to rid the body of waste, the liver steps in and helps to strain out the impurities. If we break a leg, other muscles help us move around while the leg heals. Man-made machines do not work until the broken part is replaced.

We may not observe all the rules, but we willingly accept the idea that food, exercise and sleep are essential for optimum health. However, the link that gets ignored too often is the mind.

When we look to the mind we find a prolific cause of sickness. Man thinks himself into ill health and disease. People who are forever thinking about disease, illness, operations and other morbid subjects, become a prey to these things. Those who believe that sickness is inevitable, manifest it in their life.

Yes, it is hard to forget the aching finger, toe or whatever. Constant thinking of how much it hurts just puts you in a worried and depressed mood—and you know what worry does to blood pressure.

No one can say it is easy, but change your focus onto another subject. Remember the times as a child when you forgot about an injury because you were too busy doing something that you enjoyed.

Once we become aware of what we are doing to ourselves and begin to use our bodies the way they were designed to be used, the damage can be halted and healed. Health is harmony—a delicate balance and adjustment between spirit, soul, mind and body.

Your Five Closest Friends--How Do They Affect Your Success?

One of the biggest factors in your prosperity is the people you associate with. They color your goals, expectations, and what you believe can be achieved in your lifetime.

The five most important people for your prosperity are not necessarily consciously chosen. It is much more likely that it just happened. You may have heard that if you add up the annual income of the five closest friends and divide it by five, you will likely find that is the amount you make a year.

This does not stop with money—carry the idea further to the quality of your health, relationships and happiness. In particular, we need to understand the impact these friends have where health is concerned. How much similarity is there in eating and exercise habits?

You made the decision to move to a healthy lifestyle. No doubt there was anxiety over change, and fears about your ability to persevere. You are not actually trying to be something different, but are simply letting go of all the wrong habits that you have mistakenly accepted for a while. This is the time when that circle of close friends can become crucial.

At the start your closest friends encouraged and praised your success in losing weight. You probably heard some “that is what I have been telling you” words mixed in. Also, you have met some new role models who know how to have the health that you want.

When you get close to your goals, problems start happening. Strangers and casual acquaintances are complimenting you about your appearance. However, your close friends now seem to be doing their best to sabotage your weight loss.

One long-time friend invites you to her favorite pizza place to celebrate and you end up choosing the sausage with extra cheese and toppings. Another friend pushes the calorie laden snacks while you are watching television. Your spouse brings home a box of your favorite chocolates. Today your mother was hurt because you took only a small slice of cake she had made especially for you—it used to be your favorite!

Everyone seems to be ganging up and saying that you earned and deserve special treats. They know it is against your new routine, but this one time will not matter! Really? It would have been easy to give up but you did not quit. Each time you returned faithfully to your new eating plan. However, instead of losing you gained weight this past week.

Stop! This is not the time for anger and hurt feelings. Nor is it necessary for you to change your goals. But you do need to try and understand what is happening. You are no longer the person they have known and loved for years.


It is not just your size that has changed. You have new interests and activities. The friends are missing the old times and things you used to do together. There is fear that they will lose you and their life will be changed forever.

Allow everyone time to adjust. At the same time, practice using the words "no" or "no thank you" when that is how you feel. And you are not obligated to explain why. You simply prefer doing something else.

Later, you may wake up and realize that while you have been moving forward, the old friends have been stuck in neutral or moving backwards. Most times they just fall by the wayside—they do not want to join in your new activities and you no longer enjoy the old pastimes.

Releasing negative relationships is the highest good for all concerned. They come to the conclusion that you are no fun anymore, and they attract people who are at their level of consciousness. You, in turn, will attract those with desires similar to yours.

Think of your health as wealth. Perfect health is the foundation for a fulfilling wealthy life. You chose to have abundant health—a state of unbounded energy and vitality. Let others make their own choices.