Self Insight Creates Personal Power

“Why” is the world's best teacher!

You have your choice of living your own life or of letting other people live it for you. The more you live your own, the greater personal power you will have with other people; the less you determine your own activities the less influence you have. It is really as simple as that.

You can, if you choose, let other people run your life for you. And, in the long run, they will contribute more to its ruin than to its construction.

Do not waste your time and energies wondering about the opinion of others toward you. Never permit another person to determine your decisions, your beliefs or your emotional moods. Make up your mind that you will respond as you really want to, not according to what is expected of you.

None of us need to sway before the pointless influence of other people, much less do what they do because it seems to be the proper thing to do. Unfortunately, lots of people do. Make up your mind right now that you are going to be influenced by you.

A sure road toward understanding the other man—and thereby influencing him—is to first understand yourself.

To develop adequate self-insight we must frankly face ourselves as we actually are, not as we would like to see ourselves or as we want others to see us. Human behavior follows certain basic patterns. If you can get first-hand knowledge of its principles by observing yourself in action, you enable yourself to predict the attitudes and behavior of the other man.

You already do this to some extent or other. For instance, you enter a friend’s back yard and find him adding the finishing touches to his homemade barbecue pit. You know very well that he would not at all mind a compliment or two on his skill in building the pit. How do you know what he wants and needs from you? Because you would like a word or two praising your own efforts in a similar situation.

Your insight into your own need for a kind word enables you to understand his need, therefore you say the thing that influences him toward you in a favorable way. That is a very obvious example of the persuasive force found in self-knowledge. Its development can empower you far more than may be obvious to you at present.

You must have an idea of what you want if you are to understand what other people want, for your basic needs are the very same as those longed for by others. By knowing what they need you can satisfy them; by satisfying them you can influence them.

Possibly this seems familiar. There is some routine that you do on a regular basis that has become a dreaded and boring part of the day, but you know everyone depends on the information to be timely and accurate. How good did you feel when someone actually thanked you and praised your efforts?

Start making it a habit to notice and praise others for those daily “small” things. Thank you does not have to be used only for major events.

Ask yourself how well you know yourself. To that very same degree you will know and control others. Self-insight is a personal power you should start developing to maximum use right now.
If you have committed an error, admit it—do not try to hide it, justify your actions or allow someone else to be blamed. There is something humanly likeable about admitting shortcomings and errors. And there is something extra appealing about the person who faces his need for correction.

Remember that one of the greatest principles for human growth and personal enrichment is: Never try to protect a mistake. The more we attempt to justify a false position, the more we are bound by it. Whenever you make an error, look at it squarely, even cheerfully, and then take immediate action.

Do not wait for the ideal solution to pop up; it never does. Just go ahead with whatever imperfect plans seem best for the time. This is the honest and courageous self-correction that carries your human relations from fair to good to superb in the shortest time possible.

It takes mature strength to admit and solve problems in our business or within the home circle. One of the best things about self-correction is this: If we do it, others will not be so tempted to try and do it for us! We retain our independence.

Every time you correct yourself you charge yourself with extra personal strength. Make enough corrections and you will have more than enough people who will want to do things for you. If you do not believe it, try it.

This quote from Robert Louis Stevenson summarizes self-insight well: “To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.”